A Blogger's Contract

1. I will not use my blog as an emotional vent to spew forth the sewage of my life. Any venting will be kept to a minimum and either imprisoned forever in the confines of the drafts or encased in a veritable slipcover of silver lining.

2. I will not swear, take the Lord's name in vain, or use language much more colorful than "Great Dancing Bananas!"

3. I will not apologize for not posting on here in awhile. Nothing speaks more of a lonely forsaken blogger than apologizing to non-existent readers for not keeping them up-to-date.

4. I will post on here daily.*

*unless I don't feel like it, don't have anything interesting to say, am seriously ill, was attacked by giant bananas, or have more important things to do.

5. I will not post about the petty details of my life like what I ate for breakfast. There are only so many times I can say "I ate cheerios with raisins and a glass of orange juice" before it loses its charm. I believe the limit is one, so I am already maxed out.

ex.

My Diary
"12-2-04
Today nothing exciting happened I had speech class. We worked on my r sound & played uno. The rest of the day I did school and ate and played on the cpu. Some of the cpu time was when I was supposed to be doin school. Naughty me. I get distracted or I feel like playing something. I got alot done though. Here's what I did:
Math; Test, practice lesson
Spelling; syllabication, 3x, look up
English; four wrkbx ex, paragraph
Reading; read about Giotto
Pretty good huh? Gota 100 on Test. Emily went to orthodontist & Mom went to the dentist. Emily got rubber bands at ortho.
Well TTFN
MMR"

Original spelling and punctuation preserved, original horrid handwriting sadly (fortunately?) not transferred. Obviously my procrastination tendencies run deep, and I have no idea why I was using a semi-colon there.

6. I will use sarcasm without brutality or apology.

7. I will not post anything I would not read myself. If I did, that would be very unfortunate since I would possibly be alienating my only reader.

8. Even if more people read this than my diary, I will not say "Hi!" or "Bye!" or refer in the second person to my blog like I did to my diary when I was 11. I will continue to blog as if nobody's watching even if the whole world is tuned in. On second thought, if the whole world is tuned in I might give a shout-out to B16, but otherwise, nada.

9. I will not clutter my side-bar or pages with junk to scroll through merely because I do not want to scroll through them myself. I also hereby do solemnly promise that I will not use this site as a commercial endeavor for myself or others. If I do, I will sue myself.

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10. I will not get over my banana obsession. If it was the basis for a spanish assignment, a political campaign, and got prominently placed all over the white board in one of my online classes, there is no hope for this blog whatsoever.